Real Brides Ask: Is it Okay to Order a "Couple's Cake", and Give Guests Something Else?

When planning a wedding, countless details come into play, from the décor to the playlist. One of the most significant—and often overlooked—elements is the food. A common misstep is serving an wedding cake exclusively to the couple and their wedding party while offering guests only cheaper alternatives like cupcakes or mini desserts. While some may see this as providing guests with “options,” it can actually come across as inconsiderate and create an unnecessary divide on a day meant for celebration.

The Wedding Cake Dilemma

Imagine this scenario: The couple has commissioned a stunning wedding cake, beautifully decorated. This cake is reserved solely for the couple and their closest friends, while other guests are presented with a variety of mini desserts—perhaps store-bought cupcakes or jars of candy. While the couple indulges in their exquisite cake, guests are left feeling like an afterthought, receiving what might seem like a less meaningful treat.

How Did We Get Here?

During the COVID pandemic, mini desserts and cupcakes gained popularity at weddings as a way to minimize touch points and reduce the risk of virus transmission. While these smaller options provided a practical solution during a challenging time, the end of the pandemic calls for a return to traditional food etiquette. It’s essential to celebrate the occasion by serving guests the same delicious desserts—like a beautifully crafted wedding cake—that the couple enjoys. This approach not only fosters inclusivity but also enhances the overall guest experience, ensuring everyone feels valued on this special day.

While it might be tempting to save a few dollars by buying cheaper desserts for your guests and only a nice dessert for the couple, this is a big etiquette breach.

Why It Matters

Symbol of Togetherness: Weddings are celebrations meant to bring people together. When some guests are served a delightful wedding cake while others receive basic desserts, it creates an unintentional divide. Everyone who attends is there to support and celebrate you, and they deserve the same quality experience.
Guest Experience: Your guests have taken the time, effort, and often money to join in your special day. Offering them only cupcakes or mini desserts can diminish their experience. A well-crafted wedding cake is more than dessert; it’s a central part of the celebration that invites everyone to share in your joy.
Creating Lasting Memories: Food is a vital part of any wedding, and it plays a significant role in how guests remember the day. A delicious wedding cake can elevate the experience for everyone, fostering a sense of joy and connection. When everyone gets to enjoy the same exceptional dessert, it enhances the memories created on your special day.
Cheapens the Look of Your Event: Unless the couple is having a very casual, backyard-style event, a cupcake display or candy bar really cheapens the look of the event. Imagine spending $15,000- $20,000 on your event to have the same desserts you would see at a child’s birthday party. The wedding cake is a major, thematic and decor focal point of the wedding reception. Be sure to budget appropriately for this element in the same way you would budget for floral, stationary, or tablescapes.

The Cake Cutting is one of the most displayed wedding photos. It is often the most relaxed, unposed and joyful image captured. Note the groom’s joyful expression, the brides silly face, and the anticipatory excitement of the guests in the background.

Best Practices for Inclusive Food Choice

Aim to serve food of equal or similar quality to both the couple and the guests. If you’re excited about your beautiful wedding cake, make sure there’s enough for everyone to enjoy. This inclusivity is essential for fostering a sense of community on your big day.

In the realm of wedding etiquette, food is a cornerstone of the guest experience. Ensuring that all attendees, not just the couple, enjoy high-quality offerings—including a beautifully crafted wedding cake—demonstrates thoughtfulness and respect for those who join in the celebration. Your wedding day is a momentous occasion that should leave a lasting impression on everyone involved. Love is best celebrated when everyone feels valued and included, and that starts with the food you choose to serve.